1. You fail to function normally without your daily dose of teh tarik and nasi lemak.
2. You pepper every sentence with lah. “No-lah, I can’t see you today-lah. I have to study-lah. You know-lah, the prison warden aka mak is watching me like a hawk”.
3. Your accent and language style vary according to the race of the person you are conversing with.
4. You love to talk about food. You’re already thinking about what to have for dinner while eating lunch. “I’m stuffed. What shall we have for dinner?”
5. You catch all major televised events at the mamak.
6. You’re exceedingly polite to the Mat Sallehs but you slag your own kind. “Hello, sir. Why don’t you sit here, it?s got the best view of the city skyline.” But, “Aunty-ah, your table is over there next to the kitchen.”
7. You “dis” our country all the time, but as soon as something good happens (like winning the Thomas Cup), you morph into a proud Malaysian.
8. Ramlee burger is the “piece de resistance” of your growing-up-years cuisine.
9. You slow down at an accident site to take down the car number plate, but won’t step out of your car to help ? the victim could be a robber!
10. You have roughly six meals a day (breakfast, mid-morning tea, lunch, afternoon tea, dinner and supper). Then there’s the snacking ? keropok ikan, pisang goreng, muruku, jam tarts and the like.
11. You make an appointment for 10am and conveniently show up a half hour late ? Malaysian time, what …
12. You seize the opportunity to make a U-turn anywhere … especially where there is a sign telling you not to. Well, so long as the cops aren’t in sight.
13. You complain about the quality of the pirated DVD you just purchased. “What, RM10 for DVD5?! Aiyah, boss … sound no good, cheaperlah …”
14. You’d rather park your car along the main road outside the mall, where there’s a yellow line, rather than pay RM1 to park inside where there are adequate bays.
15. You order Maggi goreng and fried chicken, sometimes CURRY, and complain about how oily the food is, and then proceed to finish it anyway.
16. You have owned at least one Proton in your lifetime. Cheap, cheap. That is until you start to make enough dough to buy that Honda you’ve been salivating over.
From Laughter the Best Malaysian.
